Breaking obsessions is the bitch of ocd mindset, but also the most invigorating step into freedom I've ever found. It is no less so in the area of love. I have changed many obsessions over the course of my life...when I crawled into a bottle not knowing that life would follow me in there, I gave up that consumption to find an amazing thing, without the obsession to remove myself from the living, I wasn't really an alcoholic; I just hated being alive. Now I enjoy a beer, for just being a beer, and I can have just one, and it's been over a year since I have been drunk...I honestly found myself in a great place, I enjoy a drink now rather than have to have it.
I just saw my youngest of 3 children graduate high school and earn scholarships for his college career; I have 3 in college now, and I'm ready to move on with my own life as well. I am leaving the state of Oregon and moving on with life, as my children are doing. In this I'm saying goodbye to an the girl in the obsession but not the idea that love can be something that consumes and allows the very core of a person to become something more than it ever could apart from the other that meaning and purpose seem to evolve both into a deeper and richer experience together. My new understanding insists that both must come to the same place though, it can't be a one sided dimension, or else the hell that such an obsession will ultimately reveal will be very similar to the alcoholics lack of will to ever remove oneself from the despot of isolationism and depravity that keeps that desire to self-loath always all-consuming as the answers seem destined to always lie waiting elsewhere rather than within the very person in need of them.
I have found my answers lie in letting the past die away, seeking life in the present
I'm glad to find a new beginning. I'm glad to find I have a friend. I'm glad to finally find I can let go! :-)
Love,Romance & Passion @ www.believepassion.blogger.com posts belong to Zion Marion Amoure creator of IamZion.com ©2013
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